{"id":6024,"date":"2021-08-15T13:59:09","date_gmt":"2021-08-15T13:59:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=6024"},"modified":"2021-08-15T13:59:09","modified_gmt":"2021-08-15T13:59:09","slug":"when-you-dont-want-to-but-you-have-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/when-you-dont-want-to-but-you-have-to\/","title":{"rendered":"When you don\u2019t want to but you have to\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Every one of us at some point may encounter a situation when we must communicate with a person whom we don\u2019t like. After all, you do not always have the opportunity to pick with whom you interact. Maybe, these are your colleagues, whom you didn\u2019t choose. Or your boss. Or an annoying relative. Or perhaps, your ex-spouse with whom you need to maintain contact because you are co-parenting your children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In either case, communication with these people brings up irritation that is about to burst outside, forget about harmony or peacefulness! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can you do? Should you squabble all the time? Or scowl and pretend that you are \u201cin a cocoon\u201d? No, this will not work\u2026 Let\u2019s consider more effective approaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, it is important to determine the real reason why you get irritated. There may be different explanations:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) <\/strong>You don\u2019t like the way the person dresses\/looks\/communicates\/talks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) <\/strong>The person has toxic behaviors: they manipulate, create conflicts, squabble, and violate your boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) <\/strong>You have experiences of negative interaction with them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, you need to identify whether you have to interact with them and in what format. To do this, answer these questions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u26ac <\/em>What connects me with this person?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u26ac <\/em>To what extent is it necessary for me to communicate with them directly?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u26ac <\/em>Is there a possibility to communicate indirectly (for example, through other people or by using technology)?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you conclude that you can minimize your interaction or mediate it \u2013 great! If not \u2013 let\u2019s continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We found the reasons for your irritation and disliking, now it is time to talk about what you can do in different situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s first consider case A, when your disliking is based on the way the person looks, dresses, etc. Since we are all adults and understand that other people don\u2019t have to conform to our expectations, it makes sense to look inside for the reason for these negative emotions. You don\u2019t like people with tattoos? Perhaps, you find it annoying that someone allows themselves something that you cannot allow yourself? You get irritated because your colleague is overweight? How do you feel about your shortcomings? Perhaps, you are afraid that you will be rejected if you gain weight? Every reaction has a reason. If you find it \u2013 you will get an important insight into yourself. And your irritation may disappear too, by the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, let\u2019s consider case B \u2013 when a person has toxic behaviors. You definitely will not be able to ignore it. It is important to maintain boundaries with such a person and not let them onto \u201cyour\u201d territory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, \u201cI don\u2019t like when you call me \u201cdear\u201d \u2013 please address me by my name\u201d. And then no longer respond to the indicated option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we are talking about a close relative, then it makes sense to:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2713<\/strong> Talk about neutral and safe subjects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2713<\/strong> Leave yourself an \u201cescape route\u201d in case the situation becomes tense: \u201cOh, I am sorry \u2013 I have an important call. Let\u2019s continue our discussion next time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this case, it is very important to maintain boundaries and a certain format of interaction. Assume you have an ex-spouse with whom you fight on every occasion. Identify the topics for future communication and do not allow switching to a different topic. You are co-parenting \u2013 therefore, discuss only these issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If communication doesn\u2019t bring you joy, it doesn\u2019t mean that it has to be torture. The most important thing is to find the \u201cright\u201d way to maintain contact.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
UNLOCKING MENTAL WELLBEING<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses<\/u><\/a> and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.<\/p>\n

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TAKE A FREE TEST<\/a><\/p>\n

or get a free consultation<\/u><\/small><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every one of us at some point may encounter a situation when we must communicate with a person whom we don\u2019t like. After all, you do not always have the opportunity to pick with whom you interact. Maybe, these are your colleagues, whom you didn\u2019t choose. Or your boss. Or an annoying relative. Or perhaps,… Read More »When you don\u2019t want to but you have to\u2026<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6025,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,5],"tags":[461,486,750,883,929,1147,1509],"class_list":["post-6024","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eng","category-mental-health","tag-duty","tag-emotions","tag-irritation","tag-mindspa","tag-nervous","tag-reasons","tag-voltage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6024","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6024"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6024\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}