{"id":6076,"date":"2021-08-18T16:50:18","date_gmt":"2021-08-18T16:50:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=6076"},"modified":"2021-08-18T16:50:18","modified_gmt":"2021-08-18T16:50:18","slug":"how-to-survive-the-death-of-a-loved-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/how-to-survive-the-death-of-a-loved-one\/","title":{"rendered":"How to survive the death of a loved one"},"content":{"rendered":"
Mindspa is the #1 self-therapy app for your mental wellbeing. Safe, effective and easy to use!<\/b> Download it here<\/u><\/a><\/small><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Grief doesn\u2019t discriminate. It comes to people regardless of their nationality, wealth, social status, or age. Losing a loved one is perhaps the worst that may happen to any person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When such a tragedy happens, the first question that fills the whole person is \u201cWhy?\u201d. Why did it happen to me, to us? Sometimes it sounds like \u201cWhat for?\u201d As if it were a punishment for something\u2026 A feeling of acute pain overwhelms the person, and it can not be postponed, pushed aside, or \u201cturned off\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often, close people don\u2019t know how to behave around a grieving person. Because of this, they say awkward things or try to console and stop the person from expressing their painful feelings. Nobody taught us what to do when a person next to us is literally being torn apart by despair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, people often say \u201cDo not cry<\/strong>\u201d, \u201cYou must be strong<\/strong>\u201d, \u201cPull yourself together<\/strong>\u201d, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are wrong words. Right the opposite — it is important to express the feelings the way they want to be expressed. Do you want to cry? Cry. Wail into a pillow? Do that. Through hands up into the air and give up for some time? This is normal too. It is important to acknowledge your pain and allow yourself not to be superhuman. Really \u2013 it\u2019s OK!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pain always needs to be expressed. You should not lock it inside yourself or pretend that it doesn\u2019t exist. Otherwise, it will freeze you and prevent you from living your life. Experiencing pain without denying it or hiding from it is the first step towards surviving the death of a loved one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Marianne\u2019s ex-husband from whom she\u2019s been divorced for a long time passed away, she suddenly started experiencing headaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The reason being is that on the rational level she thinks that there is no justification for grieving since they have been apart for quite some time and he (seemingly) is a stranger to her. But subconsciously, her emotional connection to him turned out to be much stronger than she wanted to admit. Her grief showed up as a psychosomatic reaction since it didn\u2019t have any other way out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To live through the pain means to acknowledge that you are experiencing it, without trying to analyze whether it is justified. You cannot \u201cnot feel it\u201d \u2013 it is impossible. You can even say to yourself out loud — \u201cI am hurting. I am in a lot of pain.\u201d This pain will not stay with you forever, but unfortunately, you are experiencing it now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It may happen that tears do not come. Sometimes, it scares people since they may think \u2013 did I love them enough? Why am I not crying? Maybe something is wrong with me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In reality, this is normal. When outward reactions do not come and there is only emptiness inside \u2013 this is quite natural. It happens often when our psyche protects us from unbearable feelings and emotions. It is as if it \u201cturns them off\u201d for some time. Most likely, they will surface later, and it may happen at any moment. Therefore, you need to take precautions \u2013 think about whom you are going to call when you need support and compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, we are so busy with organizational tasks that we cannot allow ourselves to \u201crelax\u201d. The grief gets \u201cpostponed\u201d and bottled up inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Duane, who is a firefighter, lost a close friend and a colleague. But he couldn\u2019t show his emotions at first, since all the chores related to the funeral and taking care of his friend\u2019s family fell on his shoulders. And he felt like he needs to \u201cact like a man\u201d and \u201cbe strong\u201d. After some time, he had to attend his neighbor\u2019s funeral. His relationship with the neighbor was not very close. Duane\u2019s wife was very surprised that at this funeral he was extremely upset and cried a lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take care of yourself in any way possible. If you need to be outside with nature \u2013 do that. If you need to live with a friend or a relative \u2013 this is normal too. Take rest. Try to help other people. Take a vacation. Any option that helps you is appropriate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do not shut down, ask for help from people who are close to you. It is important to have an opportunity to talk about your loss, your pain, about the person who passed away, about the time you\u2019ve spent together, about their habits, and everything else that you remember about them. You should not avoid it, right the opposite! You must and you need to talk about it \u2013 this will help you accept what happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sujatha\u2019s friend of 15 years passed away. It has been two months already, but she still feels like there is a tight knot inside of her. Sujatha has nobody to talk with about her friend. All her close people change the subject trying to protect her from strong emotions as soon as she mentions her friend\u2019s name. Then one evening, Sujatha asked her husband not to interrupt her and let her talk about her friend \u2013 she needed it very much. They spent two hours talking. They remembered how they met at a party, how they celebrated New Year and broke a bottle of Champagne trying to open it with a sword. The next morning, Sujatha felt for the first time that the knot inside is getting a little smaller and softer\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n

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If you need to, ask for help with everyday chores from people who are close to you. It is normal right now \u2013 not being able to take care of all things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use specific phrases, such as \u201cIt would really help if you could pick up Danny from the daycare\u201d, \u201cCan you buy groceries for me? It is hard for me to go shopping now\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, people seek psychological help \u2013 this is also good. A specialist can help you to go through this difficult period with the least consequences. This is especially important if a lot of time has passed, but there are no changes in your state \u2013 as if you are being stuck in your grief, it doesn\u2019t get better\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A psychologist cannot remove your pain and suffering. Unfortunately, this is not in their power. But professional support means a lot and often gives you the strength to survive the heartbreak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Losing a loved one is a terrible tragedy. You will be hurting for some time, unfortunately. But you know\u2026 this acute pain will not be with you forever, even if it is hard to believe right now. Slowly, it will be replaced by sadness. Sadness will take place in your heart and with it, you can already continue living. Simply believe this\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/br>

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UNLOCKING MENTAL WELLBEING<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

Self-therapy can be an essential tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Browse through our courses<\/u><\/a> and see the positive changes they can bring to your life.<\/p>\n

You are not sure where to begin?<\/p>\n

\n

TAKE A FREE TEST<\/a><\/p>\n

or get a free consultation<\/u><\/small><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grief doesn\u2019t discriminate. It comes to people regardless of their nationality, wealth, social status, or age. Losing a loved one is perhaps the worst that may happen to any person. When such a tragedy happens, the first question that fills the whole person is \u201cWhy?\u201d. Why did it happen to me, to us? Sometimes it… Read More »How to survive the death of a loved one<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6071,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,5],"tags":[374,431,486,550,653,795,883,1375,1412,1435],"class_list":["post-6076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eng","category-mental-health","tag-death","tag-disease","tag-emotions","tag-fear","tag-headache","tag-life","tag-mindspa","tag-survival","tag-terror","tag-to-cry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6076"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6076\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6071"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}