{"id":5143,"date":"2021-01-29T16:21:53","date_gmt":"2021-01-29T16:21:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=5143"},"modified":"2021-01-29T16:21:53","modified_gmt":"2021-01-29T16:21:53","slug":"financial-independence-step-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/financial-independence-step-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Financial Independence. Step one."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Are you in a terrible relationship where there\u2019s a place for everything that contradicts the principles of partnership and mutual respect? There are abuse, betrayals and even physical violence. \u201cRun !!!\u201d you\u2019re thinking. «Today!»<\/strong> your psychologist is telling you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is a caveat … This person financially supports you. \u201cThis person\u201d<\/strong> can be anyone: spouse, lover, parents, children. The bottom line is that you are financially dependent on another person, and breaking these relationships is problematic for you because you won\u2019t have a livelihood if you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Against this backdrop, all the arguments of psychologists about \u201chappy independence\u201d<\/strong> fade. You know for sure that without money, resources, connections of \u201cThis person\u201d you cannot survive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s take a look at a few examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Polly<\/strong> is a mother of three, she has been on maternity for the last 8 years, now she has a baby. The relationship is unbearable. The husband yells at her, regularly tells her off because of the mess at home, makes her look dirty and stupid in front of friends and relatives. A couple of years ago, Polly found his romantic correspondence with another woman. There was a big scandal. But he didn\u2019t leave the family \u2013 instead, he began to be more sexually active, and Polly therefore became pregnant again. They live in a large apartment, purchased before marriage. The money that the husband provides for the household is enough for food. Money for any other purchases must be requested separately. The relationship is very exhausting, but there\u2019s nowhere to go, because of \u201c the children …\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alexandra <\/strong>is a second-year student at a university. She came to Moscow from a small town. But suddenly everything went wrong with the <\/strong>\u201cconquest of Moscow\u201d. At the end of the second year, she was expelled from the university. The reason was a tumultuous romance with the \u201chandsome prince\u201d, whom she met in a nightclub. He was 10 years older than her, courted her perfectly, was building a career. He rented her an apartner, helped with money for shopping and cosmetics. Everything was wonderful. But after 8 months, she found out that he was married and had a baby. He assured her that the relationship was terrible, that he has long been dreaming of a divorce, and that she needed to wait a bit. After that, his gifts became more expensive, but the dates were less frequent and cooler. He began to tell Alexandra off that she couldn\u2019t do anything, that they had nothing to talk about, that she was uninteresting. Alexandra was going to sign up for cosmetologist courses, but he made fun of her hobby, saying that \u201conly complete idiots can want to smooth out the faces of other ugly ladies all their lives\u201d. Alexandra is at a loss. She doesn\u2019t have a profession or friends, she\u2019s also ashamed to go back home, because her parents don\u2019t know about the problems at the university, they believe that she is still studying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Natalie<\/strong> worked as a PA to the general director of a large corporation. And on her 35th birthday, the director invited her out to a posh restaurant as a gift, and then to a bowling alley. The evening continued in her bedroom. She knew that the boss was married, and that the wife had leverage over his career. But he was so impressive. She\u2019d liked him for a long time. Moreover, her circle of admirers wasn\u2019t exactly teeming with other contenders. They began an office romance. Suddenly, three months later, the finance department found a mistake in her work and she was fired the same day. He came to her house, lamented that he couldn\u2019t help, promised to recommend her to another company. But weeks passed and there were no references. He did help her financially a little, but he spent more money on their joint fun. After the money from the \u201csafety cushion\u201d ran out, Natalie said she\u2019d start looking for a job. To which her former boss said: \u201cNo!\u201d He said that she\u2019d fail anyway, that the mistake that made her fired was very serious, and that he wouldn\u2019t give her a good reference. And in general, if she wanted to continue relations with him, then she wasn\u2019t to work. Natalie was very scared, but she didn\u2019t understand what to do next, because the money in her account has practically \u201cmelted away\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Three different stories. But we see a common logic in each of them. \u201cThis person\u201d has more freedom, resources and awareness. Throughout the relationship, \u201cThis person\u201d deceives his partner. \u201cThis person\u201d seeks to reduce her freedom, seeks to fully control her, to determine her life and the course of development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can you do? How to fight back when there\u2019re no resources to even just maintain a stable relationship? Where do you go when everything that belongs to you doesn\u2019t in fact belong to you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first, the key and the only thought is to leave! Leave, because it\u2019ll only get worse from here on. A violent and abusive person doesn\u2019t intend to stop when he feels that he has gained power over the \u201cvictim\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShould I leave right now?\u201d<\/strong>, you ask. Right now usually doesn\u2019t work out \u2013 you need resources to fight, to establish new connections, to help yourself, to consolidate success. And right now isn\u2019t your option. We\u2019ll allow ourselves to assume the thoughts running through your head when we, or you, say to yourself, \u201cGet out!\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n