{"id":8475,"date":"2021-09-18T12:16:57","date_gmt":"2021-09-18T12:16:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=8475"},"modified":"2021-09-18T12:16:57","modified_gmt":"2021-09-18T12:16:57","slug":"relationship-with-a-teenager-5-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/relationship-with-a-teenager-5-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationship with a teenager: 5 rules"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Building any relationship is not easy. This task requires a lot of empathy, attention to the person, and good communication skills. Building a relationship with a teenager is even more complicated \u2013 every parent knows it. But if you act competently and keep in mind only 5 main rules \u2013 you will definitely succeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rule 1: Do not demand trust but earn it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deborah wants very much to have a trusting relationship with her daughter Sasha. Therefore, she often starts heart-to-heart conversations and repeatedly asks and even demands: \u201cTell me \u2013 what is going on in your life? I worry about you!\u201d, \u201cWith whom do you spend time? Share with me \u2013 mother is your best friend!\u201d Before, Sasha used to tell her mom about her life and then encouraged Deborah would latch on like a bulldog and try to extract more details. Or she would get terribly frightened («Jessica smokes? And you? With her, too? Oh my God…») Deborah cannot understand why she has such a closed daughter — she is trying so hard to build a connection!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Karen is not paying much attention when her son tells her about his life. She only perks up when he brings up studying and grades. And then she gets very upset that her son doesn\u2019t want to tell her something \u201creally important\u201d \u2013 he only talks about minutia, such as who argued with whom, and that Peter\u2019s parents are getting divorced. \u201cWhy would I care about Peter? I wish you would tell me something important \u2013 it\u2019s so hard to get even a word out of you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is quite a common story when a parent demands trust, forgetting that this is a very fragile substance and forceful methods will not help in any way, but they can ruin everything greatly. For a child to start sharing something, you need to create a safe space in which this is possible. And the first difficulty that parents may encounter here is the need to admit and allow a son or daughter NOT to talk, NOT to tell about something. If the parent is not told about something, this is not because the child does not like or trust them, but because there are things that they want to keep private. This is how healthy boundaries are formed, and they will greatly help the child in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n