{"id":9807,"date":"2021-12-28T13:01:36","date_gmt":"2021-12-28T13:01:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=9807"},"modified":"2021-12-28T13:01:36","modified_gmt":"2021-12-28T13:01:36","slug":"i-cant-accept-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/i-cant-accept-it\/","title":{"rendered":"I can\u2019t accept it"},"content":{"rendered":"
Mindspa is the #1 self-therapy app for your mental wellbeing. Safe, effective and easy to use!<\/b> Download it here<\/u><\/a><\/small><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Not everything in our lives goes the way we want it. Or we can even say that often things go the way we really do not want. However, accepting reality is one of the most important prerequisites for enjoying life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a well-known rule for being unhappy: \u201cNot valuing what you have and valuing what you do not have.\u201d If you use this rule, we are guaranteed to be disappointed in life. But our goal is right the opposite, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what does the phrase \u201cI can\u2019t accept\u201d imply? What does it mean in general \u2013 \u201cto accept\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If something doesn\u2019t go the way we want, the first emotion we feel is usually annoyance. How could this be? We planned everything! Anger and anxiety may follow. You can be angry at the circumstances, at yourself, at the weather, at your husband, at your child, etc. And you can worry \u2013 what is going to happen now? It seems that everything is going haywire!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You were going to have a BBQ with your friends — and suddenly it started raining. You must cancel your plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You decide to make an awesome dinner. For example, beef in plum sauce. You announce your plans to your family and buy meat. You go to the farmer\u2019s market to buy plums and\u2026 they do not sell them there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have been saving money to buy a beautiful dress for a long time. Finally! You have the needed sum! You go to the store \u2013 and the dress is sold out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tomorrow is Saturday \u2013 your day off! You have been waiting for it for a whole week \u2013 counting days since Tuesday. On Friday night, your boss tells you that you must be in the office tomorrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You see yourself getting married to a person, but he is suggesting remaining \u201cjust friends\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more we resist reality the more resources we spend on something we cannot change. What is resistance? Very simple \u2013 it is when you are choosing to \u201csuffer\u201d instead of to \u201caccept\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the instruction on how to \u201csuffer\u201d because things did not go your way:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cb To be upset for a long time because everything is not going according to the plan. Cry. Stare out the window with an absent gaze. Look at your husband\/wife with reproach. Refuse any other option offered by others because it doesn\u2019t matter \u2013 \u201cit is not the same thing …». Go about your life in a gloomy mood: «why bother now?».<\/p>\n\n\n

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\u25cb Complain about the injustice of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cb Theatrically exclaim «It’s always like this with me!» and «Why me again?».<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cb To spin long thoughts in your mind and out loud \u2013 for example, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t eat ice cream the day before yesterday, I wouldn\u2019t get sick, and I could go to the theater!\u201d or «If you always did things in advance, you would have read the forums and got tickets earlier, as I told you. We would be in a different hotel now!»<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cb Trying to figure out how it could have happened: \u201cHow is it, that you don’t have plums? Not at all? None? Yesterday, you had them! Why don’t you order enough plums? Can you look in the back \u2013 what if you have some in storage? «<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u25cb Demonstrate with all your appearance that «Everything is lost now!»<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By any such actions, we increase our disappointment, put it at the forefront, and deprive ourselves of any opportunity to find harmony and peace under the changed conditions. And in most cases, it is quite possible!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a common misconception about acceptance which suggests that to accept means that «you should like this.» But one is not at all equal to the other! Yes, you do not at all like that an illness has disrupted your plans or that the object of your love interest does not have feelings for you. But this cannot be changed. It is important to explain to yourself that even though you do not like it, but this is how things are. And you need to accept it as a fait accompli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why is learning to «accept» necessary? Because until this happens, the person remains in a distorted reality and cannot move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tabitha had been seeing Ali for six months and already was already hearing the wedding bells and imagining the two beautiful children that they would parent together. But things worked out differently — Ali admitted that he loved another person and left. Almost a year has passed, but Tabitha is still waiting for his return. She does not date anyone, does not communicate with friends, says that she «does not want to accept it.» But the reality does not change from this, and Tabitha\u2019s life stands still. And something wonderful could already be happening to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The formula is: acceptance — awareness — liberation. I accept the fact that this happened (because how can you not accept it?). And I accept my thoughts and feelings associated with it (I am hurt, sad, scared, and anxious). This is my reality — I am not going to try to hide from it, even if I do not like it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fritz Perls has a very good phrase: do not push the river, it flows by itself. Not accepting reality is like pushing a river. It is a useless and energy-consuming endeavor. But we need to move forward, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/br>

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Not everything in our lives goes the way we want it. Or we can even say that often things go the way we really do not want. However, accepting reality is one of the most important prerequisites for enjoying life. There is a well-known rule for being unhappy: \u201cNot valuing what you have and valuing… Leer m\u00e1s »I can\u2019t accept it<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9806,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[67,174,414,535,592,795,883,1473],"class_list":["post-9807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eng","tag-aims","tag-boredom","tag-dialogue","tag-failure","tag-friendship","tag-life","tag-mindspa","tag-unhappiness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9807","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9807"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9807\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9807"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9807"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}