{"id":4568,"date":"2020-11-13T16:44:56","date_gmt":"2020-11-13T16:44:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=4568"},"modified":"2020-11-13T16:44:56","modified_gmt":"2020-11-13T16:44:56","slug":"return-of-trust","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/return-of-trust\/","title":{"rendered":"Return of trust"},"content":{"rendered":"
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What they expected from her was violent tantrums, tears, screams, vows to take revenge … But she just sat there motionless, and as she stared at the coffee cup left by him, she repeated silently, like a mantra: «I can no longer trust anyone, ever»…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The terrible, bitter, nastily sticky experience of betrayal … You don\u2019t want to think, to feel, to breathe … And you don\u2019t want to torture yourself again with pain, and therefore you promise yourself that the subject of trust is forever closed to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In ordinary life, a reasonable dose of distrust helps to avoid troubles, fraud and dishonorable people. But what to do when it comes to love or friendships, where the issue of trust is particularly relevant?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If, after betrayal, you decide that not trusting people is the sole right way to avoid heartache — believe me when I say that this is not an option. Rather, it\u2019s rather a dead end in your future relationships with people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship. You won\u2019t be able to feel confident and relaxed if you don\u2019t trust yourself and your partner. Without this component, any relationship will be strained, superficial, won\u2019t bring you joy or happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, right now it feels gross, painful, empty, but this time will pass, and you\u2019ll have to keep living and learn to trust people again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s agree which steps you have to take now in order to restore spiritual balance and try to reassess your vow to \u201cnever trust again\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. A period of silence<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Please give yourself some time to be alone. It make no sense now to rush into a new relationship to verify «that there are normal people in this world,» just as well as you shouldn\u2019t give yourself some terrible oaths like  «I\u2019ll go to the monastery, I\u2019ll become a monk.» Neither of them will bring anything good except for new mental torment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Allow yourself some distance from the whole world for now. Without parental moralizing, without advice from friends (often clueless). This time is only for you, for accepting your feelings, for restoring order in your head and heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Note the conclusions<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Now, this is interesting: whilst pressure from the experience, it\u2019s common for people in difficult situations to draw conclusions that don\u2019t actually correspond to reality and are simply based on generalizations. For instance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n