{"id":5000,"date":"2021-01-16T14:30:05","date_gmt":"2021-01-16T14:30:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindspa.me\/?p=5000"},"modified":"2021-01-16T14:30:05","modified_gmt":"2021-01-16T14:30:05","slug":"friend-or-foe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/friend-or-foe\/","title":{"rendered":"Friend or foe?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies»\u201d, Aristotle once noted wisely. How great it is when there\u2019s a person close to you who believes in you, understands your worries and anxieties, whose help and support you can count on in difficult times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, no matter how many songs and books are written about friendship, there are situations when it brings devastation, inner anxiety, guilt, or simply deprives one of their strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If this is how you feel after talking to a loved one, then it’s time to talk about relationships that aren\u2019t beneficial, but cruelly destructive — about a toxic friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are the signs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. By twos, Count off!<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    And you\u2019re number two\u2026 And the problems, the desires, the ideas, the achievements of the other party come first. They can talk about them for hours. They\u2019re important. But when you start to share your thoughts and concerns, the conversation quickly \u201ccollapses\u201d, or again moves onto the subjects of the \u201cnumber one\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Nothing special<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      You start sharing your successes, victories with a friend, and in response you hear: \u201cWell, it\u2019s nothing special …\u201d, \u201cYou just got lucky\u201d, \u201cWho knows what\u2019s gonna happen next\u201d, etc. … Over and over again you see that no one is going to be happy about your achievements. Your happy emotions are devalued, and victories cause open displeasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. I\u2019d rather not say anything<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        You don\u2019t tell your friend about new acquaintances, successful purchases, interesting parties, because you are afraid to upset them, cause displeasure, hear malicious and scornful jokes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Alas, if you have to carefully choose your words, \u201cfilter\u201d information and anxiously wait for their reaction when you talk to them, that\u2019s a very bad symptom.<\/p>\n\n\n

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        1. Boundaries? Never heard of them.<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          A friend is bored, and they\u2019re constantly distracting you from work. They buy two tickets to a rock concert, not interested in your tastes, plans and, in the end, finances. Criticize your partner. Creep into your personal space. Talks about how you should look, dress, where to work and what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          All of the above are signs of blatant violation of boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          1. And you call yourself a friend<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            You are not forgiven for saying no. As soon as you begin to defend your boundaries, to say no, you are accused of heartlessness and selfishness. Even if you refuse for a very good, good reason, you are still pouted at and they\u2019re muttering under your breath: \u201cAnd you call yourself a friend …\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            1. At least I\u2019m being honest<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Of course, we\u2019ve heard that \u201cthe enemies tell a sweet lie, and true friends tell a bitter truth,\u201d but everything should be in moderation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              If your friend constantly criticizes you, tactlessly points out your shortcomings, often and with pleasure recalls the ridiculous situations where you were the protagonist, then this is more like frank humiliation, rather than \u201chonest truth from a friend\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              1. Competitive spirit<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                Are you happy with the purchase of a new car? A loved one immediately wants to buy one too, except not like yours, but cooler. Did you celebrate your birthday in a cute cafe? So, theirs will be in a cool restaurant. Are you pleased with your weekly trip to Spain? So, the friend will definitely go on a month-long Europe tour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                And all this with a mandatory demonstration in the context: look, look, I’m cooler than you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                1. And a little intuition<\/strong><\/em><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                  Stop and listen to yourself. Are you trying to spend less time with your friend? Are you waiting for their call or arrival with inexplicable anxiety? When they leave, do you exhale with relief? And then feel like a squeezed lemon all day? If the answers are \u201cyes\u201d, then the answer is obvious: it is a toxic friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  Of course, it\u2019 s up to you to decide how long you will stay \u201cfriends\u201d like that for. But don\u2019t forget that in addition to toxic friends, there are also real ones who respect, support and love you just for who you are.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                  \u201cWhat is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies»\u201d, Aristotle once noted wisely. How great it is when there\u2019s a person close to you who believes in you, understands your worries and anxieties, whose help and support you can count on in difficult times. However, no matter how many songs and books are… Leggi tutto »Friend or foe?<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5001,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,5],"tags":[574,591,883,1305,1464,1514],"class_list":["post-5000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-eng","category-mental-health","tag-foe","tag-friends","tag-mindspa","tag-sincerity","tag-true-friendship","tag-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5000"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}