{"id":925136,"date":"2023-03-02T17:50:36","date_gmt":"2023-03-02T17:50:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindspa.me\/?p=925136"},"modified":"2023-03-02T18:14:42","modified_gmt":"2023-03-02T18:14:42","slug":"he-refuses-to-solve-the-problem-what-should-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindspa-dev.ru\/it\/he-refuses-to-solve-the-problem-what-should-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"He refuses to solve the problem. What should I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Mindspa is the #1 self-therapy app for your mental wellbeing. Safe, effective and easy to use!<\/b> Download it here<\/u><\/a><\/small><\/div>\n\n\n
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We\u2019ll start by saying that we sincerely sympathize with you. It’s not easy to feel that you and your partner are playing on different teams in a crisis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, the fact that you are reading this text speaks of your willingness to try to change things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So let’s try to sort things out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step #1: Clear your reality of speculation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most often, we perceive a direct or indirect refusal of our partner to get involved in resolving a problematic situation as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  • \u201cI see, that means he\/she doesn\u2019t love me!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cShe\/he just doesn\u2019t care!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cSo I\u2019m not a priority!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cHe\/she doesn’t want this relationship!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Such reasoning often turns out to be wrong. A person may have different reasons not to respond to your need. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    • — There is a communicative failure, and they actually don\u2019t understand what you are trying to convey.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • — The solution that you propose (or even demand) doesn\u2019t suit your partner, and you don\u2019t know how to search for compromise.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • — Some personal traits of your partner make them withdraw and hide from any conflict.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • — The intensity of emotions is so high that your partner can\u2019t handle it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Thus, the reason for your partner’s «refusal» may lie, for example, in a simple misunderstanding, but you\u2019ve already convinced yourself that there\u2019s no love and no hope for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Of course, this approach only increases the tension and distances you even further. So, your task is to bring yourself back to reality. Stop guessing and focus on the facts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Step #2: Manipulate<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Yes, we \u2013 adherents of safe and effective psychology \u2013 are actually suggesting that you should manipulate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Manipulation is usually viewed only in a negative way. However, there is also a good kind of manipulation. Replace the message \u201cWe have a problem, let’s work on it!<\/em>\u201d with \u201cI have a problem, please help me solve it.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      It may sound like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      • — «You know, I\u2019m really struggling to deal with this situation on my own, and I was thinking of going to a therapist. It would help me a lot if you went with me.»<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • — «This situation affects me and our relationship in a negative way. I would like to improve my state and our communication. Here, I found an excellent course (link), let’s do it together? It would give me great support.»<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Step #3: Change yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Any relationship works following certain scenarios in which everyone has a role to play. As long as you preform your usual role, your partner doesn\u2019t need to change anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        But as soon as you change your approach, this structure will begin to wobble, and then you will have two options:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        • — Either your partner will try to \u201ccatch up\u201d with you, and the situation will improve.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • — Or your partner is totally incapable of healthy communication, and you will separate with an easy mind.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          <\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Step #4: Use professional help<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Not everyone has the opportunity to go to a family therapist. Besides how can you «drag» a person who refuses to solve a problem into therapy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Our course LOVESTORM<\/strong> is designed just for such cases. It will help you initiate positive changes in your relationship. Sign up for LOVESTORM right now to get a discount and a money-back guarantee. Click below to learn more:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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